Sometimes when I meditate, I fully surrender whatever problem/issue/disturbance that is going on in my life at the time over to the universe. In that moment, I believe in the process. I trust the universe will give me what is of my highest good. I believe in the power of prayer and sink into the feeling of grace. My vibes are so high I'm tingling when I get out of meditation. I'm ready to tackle the world and my day with such enthusiasm! I know that the universe has my back, that everything is working out in my favor and I can easily ride the wave of gratitude.
And then I walk out my front door.
And the noise of the world gets in the way. All of a sudden I'm out of my lovely cocoon where I feel safe and secure and thrust back into a world where things aren't going exactly as planned, both in my work life and my home life. My prayers are not happening fast enough! I expect situations to resolve themselves immediately. I prayed, didn't I? I meditated, didn't I? Shouldn't it all be fixed by now and wrapped up nice and tidy with a big red bow?
When it doesn't happen, whatever it is I'm obsessing over, guess what I do? I take back control. That's right… I know longer believe or have faith in the universe. I need to control the outcome and I know best. God forbid I fully surrender to the universe for more than one day!
And that's when the fun begins. I try to manipulate situations and people to conform to what I want. I try and diagnose the problem and figure out a solution. Then I plan steps on how to get to the end result. Why? Because I know better than the universe. HA!
Has this happened to you before? Do you "Give it to God" only to take it right back when things don't go exactly as you wished??
I think we all have moments like these. We think of ourselves as spiritual, enlightened beings when life is good… when there are no bumps in the road. But what happens when our faith is tested? When life doesn't look like what we had planned?
We temporarily don't believe in the strength of God/the universe/our higher self, which is inside each of us. We throw everything we've learned away. Our ego, which is the part of us that feels we are separate from the universe, takes over and wants to prove it knows more. And the battle begins. The push and pull. The give and take. We give it to the universe…then take it back. This goes on and on, like a yo-yo. It's literally exhausting, to tell you the truth.
How do we get back to that lovely state of surrender? Where we trust in the intention of prayer?
I don't have a clear answer on this one, as I am figuring it all out as I go! However, these are my steps that bring me back.
1. Recognize when you've detoured into fear. You'll know when this starts happening because your body will start to tense up and your emotions go bonkers. Pay attention to your body and your feelings. They are your spiritual thermometers. Sit with the feelings and allow them to pass through you. Don't dismiss too quickly. They are just energy after all.
2. Call a trusted friend. Talk it out and allow them to heal you. Thank God for my BFF. She is always there for me and I know I can count on her for trusted counsel.
3. Go back to the meditation pillow and find your light once again. It's in there. It's just blocked with all your fears. Know that you're not alone, we all are struggling with one thing or another. The answer lies in your reconnecting with your light that shines within you.
In the end, all we can do is just shoot to be the best version of ourselves at any given moment. Leave everyone you meet, both at work and in your home life, better off than before they met you. Then…Let life happen. Trust the process and Let the Sun Shine In :)